Archive for the ‘Film: Feature’ Category

CFAC – Day 23: Nightmare Before Christmas

Nanu Advent Day 23

We’re almost there everyone! By now I hope most of you will be near home, and the family is together. Tonight’s films are designed to be seen by everyone, to keep adults and children as entertained as the other, and to indulge in Christmas spirit where one can. And so to our first film… what’s this!?




The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)


Tim Burton, 76 mins

The delightful stop motion animation is a favourite to me, as it should be to you. Jack Skellington, a gangly monster, enters an alternative world in which, unlike his own horrific reality, there exists Christmas and joy. A dastardly plan is conceived to change this injustice.  If you enjoyed Monster’s Inc., you really must see this – a connection before that I had not thought about. Danny Elfman’s catchy soundtrack  means that the film will linger in the mind far beyond the final credits.

Already seen this recently…? Then give this alternative family film a go



The Family Stone (2005)


Thomas Bezucha, 105 mins

I’ve heard it rumoured that this film is adored by some. The gentle premise is that a highly strung business woman spends her Christmas with her boyfriend’s family, who enjoy a much looser, more outgoing lifestyle – this is your usual,  fish out of water comedy with a Christmas twist, and a romantic thread throughout. Will they find love? Possibly, but more importantly, you won’t find anything untoward that the wee bairns can’t handle. Not for everyone.

CFAC – Day 22: Jingle All The Way

Nanu Advent Day 22

Yesterday’s bleak apocalypse out of the way (hopefully), we are downhill to Christmas, and this is the Saturday before Christmas – and chances are you will be out today to grab whatever presents you can while the shops remain open. Shopping Centre’s, roads and buses will be packed today as a thousand or so poorly prepared, hard working individuals take to the streets to grab a bargain – and even hope to catch that must have toy. In celebration my gift to you is…    

Jingle All The Way (1996)

  Brian Levant, 95 mins Is this the perfect film? God no. But Sinbad (yes, him) and Arnold Schwarzenegger play dads struggling to get the must have toy for their sons –

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the Turbo Man dolls – that elude Now, in terms of casting, never has a man so large played a role of someone so small – an office suit who appears to care more about his business (was it selling mattresses? or something else strange?) than his family. It’s a very light hearted and enjoyable breeze of a movie that will rest your mind as you rest your feet. The spectre of Phil Hartman – the comic actor that voiced Troy McCluire and others in The Simpson’s before his unfortunate demise in bizarre circumstances – hangs heavy in the film as a creepy next door neighbour hoping for a taste of some divorcee action. Oh, and Arnie punches a Reindeer. Pretty much unprovoked too. Quite, quite odd – but a delight nonetheless. You forget he since became the Governor of California. So, suppose you don’t fancy watching – and today has instead let you witness the horror that is Commercialism at Christmas. Then, may I point you towards today’s alternative film choice…    

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

  George Romero 127 mins Set in an American mall, Dawn of the Dead is, in my mind, the definitive zombie film of all time. As most of these horrors tend to do, it reflects the horrors of the day, and the near dead hoardes perform thoughtlessly the moronic acts of a consumer driven economy. This satire on the culture of consumption is ladelled with humour, and seems to both create and defy convention. Now this film is technically on the wrong day – when I first

saw this it was Christmas Eve, and the hour was turning past midnight. Snuck in my room, I knew that this would be on – and this was my first experience of horror. But even so, this is a delightful watch for those that can stomach it, and the perfect introduction to . Fans of Shaun of the Dead too will do well to catch up with this historic film to add appreciation to Pegg and Wright’s tremendous spoof.

CFAC – Day 21: The Road

Nanu Advent Day 21

Today is the final day for humanity. As such, it seemed appropriate to let Christmas have a day off and share with you two of my favourite apocalypse films. These are great recommendations any day of the week – but tonight may be, literally, your last chance to share in this…



The Road (2009)


John Hillcoat, 111 mins

Adapted from a best selling novel, The Road is an endearing story of a man, played by Viggo Mortensen, struggling to survive in the end of days along with his son. Never before has a film managed to capture the bleak reality of what it would be like, and heed my warning – this is not the kind of film to make you feel good about yourself. Struggle and horror are metered with some devastating twists that render the entire experience exhausting. But incredible.

Now I know what some of you are saying – “it”s Christmas, I can”t watch The Road! I need something far more bleak” well if that”s the case, then I have the perfect

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Turin Horse (2011)


Bela Tarr, 146 mins

This was the final film of the superb director Bela Tarr, a real legend in world cinema, and a very dark, nihilist piece of cinema to end on. Strangely set up off the back of a possibly apocryphal story of Nietzsche”s demise, Tarr”s vision shares the life of the horse of the tale. Taken back to the farm, the inhabitants of the countryside are forced to encounter horrendous conditions that match their unfortunate mundane existence. Beautifully shot, the role of repetition and slow, powerful shots mean that you will experience every minute of this like it is 10 times its length – and for good reason. Not for everyone, as very little is explained, but wow. I guarantee few artists in any medium will ever express the reality of bleakness as powerfully as this masterpiece. I do not dare watch it again.

You can check out my original review of this on when it was part of the Edinburgh International Film Festival in 2011.

CFAC – Day 20: Scrooged

Nanu Advent Day 20

Marley was dead. Or something. Either way, today is the last postal day if you want to hope to get presents delivered for Christmas (well through the Royal Mail at least). Now I’m telling you this for one reason and one reason alone – you have not sent those gifts because you never bought them. To help you grow into your character of Scrooge, enter the second Dickens’ adaptation in the list, but is it the last…? Probably. I can’t remember, I wrote these ages ago.    

Scrooged (1988)

  Richard Donner, 101 mins I don’t need to explain this film to you – it’s the classic Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol (an excellent read on the train home if you’re interested, the perfect length for a long journey) re-imagined with the superb Bill Murray in the role. What makes this film even more wonderful are the sorts of revelations about Bill Murray’s life that have emerged over the last year. Things like very few people know how to contact him, and directors hoping to cast him just leave a message and if he’s interested in the project, he turns up on the day. Things like he does whatever he wants. He’s a party animal. He’s a legend. Now watch this film and laugh your buttocks into oblivion. But let’s say for arguments sake, you are sick of Charles Dickens. Hold the phone, we got an alternative film for you… and it is a fucking doozey…      

Jack Frost (1997)

  Michael Clooney, 89 mins No, not that Jack Frost. This isn’t the schmultzy pathetic dead dad snowman cry-fest that you think you should be watching. No, this is the

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story of a convicted murderer killed ona snowy day by an accident involving a truck transporting mysterious chemicals, and whose spirit melts into the snow, for him to return as ice. Yes, possessing the magic ability of water, this is a cheap horror that is as funny as it sounds, and twice as brilliant than you imagine. It’s an awful film, no worries about that, but if you are in

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the right mood, this will no disappoint. And yes there’s a sequel. Fun fact, it’s the first appearance, who later gets her kit off in American Pie. Oh look, here’s the whole BLOODY FILM. Merry Fucking Christmas.

CFAC – Day 19: Sissi

Nanu Advent Day 19

With one week to go, Christmas has never seemed so close, and yet so far away. As such, I thought I would share with you something from the traditions of other nations. Today’s effort, is a German classic, that is essential cinematic viewing for some of our fellow Europeans.



Sissi (1955)


Ernst Marishka, 102 mins

A period drama in which a young princess follows her mother to an Austrian court for the announcement of her sister’s engagement – but while there, the fiancee instead falls in love with the young Sissi. The first in a trilogy of films,

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this one touches the heart of those that a period film like this would touch. It isn’t going to be for everyone, but it still is worth a look for something a little different for your Christmas choice.

If you don’t fancy this period piece, then why not treat yourself to our alternative film

Just Friends (2005)

Roger Kumble, 96 mins

This one may be a little more accessible – our protagonist comes home for Christmas, only to come face to face with his high school crush. This has been highly rated by a number of people – particularly women who may have a Ryan Reynolds based crush – but regardless, is something well worth your time for a quick, easy to watch Christmas film that would not already be in your xmas canon.

CFAC – Day 18: Serendipity


Today is when people will be at their final ebb, the final midweek meltdown away from the big day. Christmas is so close, but the working week is no nearer finishing than it was starting, and caught between these two, one does not know whether to celebrate or fear that tomorrow is just another, boring day – and worse still, a fucking Thursday. Today, you need a Christmas miracle.


Serendipity (2001)

Pete Chelsom, 90 mins

Some of you may groan at this choice, but by gum is this not one of my favourite films of all time. Yes, my relationship with this masterpiece developed in  much the same manner as a victim develops Stockholm syndrome, but the result is the same – familiarise yourself with this film several times over a 24 hour time period, and perhaps you too can share with me in this joy. The basic premise is fate, and love. This is a fantastic film for so many reasons. Firstly, it’s John Cusacks finest performance in a Romantic Comedy for a role in which he is phoning it in. Secondly, it’s a wedding film that doesn’t make you want to throw up – something which even the fantastic Bridesmaid’s struggles to do (for different reasons – if you’ve seen it, then maybe you’d understand). Finally,  it is probably the only feature film to prominently features a Shenai. A mother flipping shenai – a man’s greatest weapon – and yet every man’s Achilles heel. This film is as close to perfection as you can get.

Fine, you want something else? Maybe you don’t believe in fate, maybe you believe in what can be found in our alternative film


The Bishop’s Wife (1947)

Henry Koster, 109 mins

Cary Grant stars in this peculiar film that reeks of being old. The always charming Grant plays an angel sent by God to earn his wings at Christmas time, and to do this he must prove his worth by helping people – or does he? With some religious undertones, it’s quite a fascinating juxtaposition which forces religion against itself in a manner that many might find more provoking than a film which is just about an angel sent to help on Christmas – something which wouldn’t be done now for various reasons. It isn’t particularly funny or engrossing, and wastes Grant’s talents, failing to include a moment where he can raise an eyebrow with such magnificence, but regardless, it’s something new to watch that may keep you entertained and make you believe in the miracle of humanity once more.

CFAC – Day 17: Planes, Trains & Automobiles

Nanu Advent Day 17

So, today is about the time that you really need to make sure you have your travel plans sorted. Everyone loves the time off work and going home for the holidays – but getting home can be a real nightmare! Today’s films help to contextualise your own woes – whether you are afraid of being stuck in traffic for a million miles, have a fear of flights, don’t trust walking through ice or have any one of a million completely viable fear for the trains, today I want to share a film with you which you can say out loud – well at least it won’t be this bad…



Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)

John Hughes, 93 mins

If there was a comic actor who was taken from us too soon, it was John Candy. He is a staple figure in a lot of the films I remember watching when growing up, and this film is a great example of him at work. Steve Martin plays the everyman, stuck away from where he needs to be thanks to a situation which conspires against him. In a similar position is the overly caring John Candy, who through an excessive display of affection and other more annoying habits, frustrates and prevents Martin without realising. P,T&A is a film which makes you groan out load “oh no!” more than any other, but still is never uncomfortable to watch. If you have any qualms at all about getting home then this will relieve your worries.

But if you fancy something that won’t make you squeal with discomfort, why not try our alternative film

Home Alone 2: Lost In New York (1992)

Chris Columbus, 120 mins

Older and wiser, the sequel to the classic Culkin kids film splits the room – some think it refines the formulae,and other finds the premise stretched too far. I personally admire this film, and having seen it potentially more than the first, it still fills me with joy. Once again, on re-viewing, there is much

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to be found in this film that is bizarre, but a firm Christmas film that plays on the fears of getting home, is the perfect way to while a way your worries – althought at two hours, it could perhaps do with a little cut here and there – hence why it doesn’t get it’s own day to itself!

CFAC – Day 16: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

Nanu Advent Day 16

With the possibility of going home so close, these films today I have chosen to enjoy that feeling of family at Christmas time, while seeing that artificial thing destroyed completely and be replaced by what Christmas is really about – making do when all us falls apart, and finding something much more special underneath it all. That and laughing at someone else’s misfortune.


National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989)

Jeremiah S. Chechik, 97 mins

Perhaps my favourite of all the Chevy Chase based “Vacation” movies, I can vouch that this is one funny movie. In fact, there are few films that I have seen this many times – and fewer still that still make me laugh, especially around Christmas. If you’ve not seen a vacation movie, they are essentially spoofs of those films which conspire against the main protagonist while at the same time their originator, but unlike contemporary examples like “Meet the Parents” National Lampoon’s films are unashamedly full of real jokes, not the ironic distance of seeing a character’s misfortune, but slapstick and crass and with no other intention than to make you laugh. In this particular iteration, Chase plays Clark Griswald, a dad who wants to have the perfect Christmas, and goes as far as he can to make this dream a reality, even when that dream teases him by having the reality mere inches away. A Christmas classic.


But if you fancy something else with a little more substance, why not try today’s Alternative Film


I Will Be Seeing You (1944)

William Dieterle, 85 mins 

I’ll admit I’ve not actually seen this yet, but I have been recommended this by people who know a lot more about these sorts of things – and it sounds great… Ginger Rogers plays a convict given a few days leave for Christmas to spend with her family, meets a shell-shocked soldier without a family for Christmas. Both hide their pasts from each other but end up spending festivities in each other’s company. It’s from a time when stories had to be of value to themselves, and it’s originality and difference speak of a far simpler age.

CFAC – Day 15: Love, Actually

Nanu Advent Day 15

Ten days ’til Christmas, and the vigour of an exhausting day buying gifts with a loved one will make you want to hate them, and rip the bullshit from Christmas for good. Be reminded by what it is to love someone else with a film that can be agreed upon without any argument, and let peace reign in your household, for a shared, simple Saturday night.


Love, Actually (2003)

Richard Curtis, 135 mins

This will become Curtis’ most remembered film, for whatever reasons you’d like to imagine, but yes, it happened. It features about 15 different story lines, all surrounding different problems and types of love around the Christmas holidays,. Yes, it’s a bit of a mess, and would perhaps make a better tale as a series of short films, individual stories, rather than the almost Tarentino like quilt of stars and simply paved scenarios. But seeing Bill Nighy and Rowan Atkinson will guarantee to make you smile, where other stories will move you in other ways. It’s harmless Christmas fun, and reunites a cast of British treasures that should be working together more often please. Not for you? No significant other? Try this on for size…


Santa’s Slay (2005)

David Steiman, 78 mins

This could be your last chance to get someone you like, on a couch, sat next to you and needing your assistance to see them through this nightmare world. Or this could be a Saturday night in after a shocking day of Christmas shopping where nothing would make you happier than saying Santa Claus chop up a few people for a few screams. Make it worth it – make it Santa’s Slay.


CFAC – Day 14: Nativity

Nanu Advent Day 14

Friday night again, and if you are a parent, you will probably be heading into some sort of Children”s Christmas themed event at some point in the next few days. You can”t be sent out unprepared, so rather than laughing out loud as your own child stacks it on stage, pissing themselves live on stage, not only for the embarrassment of their peers, but permanently on the cameras of dozens of parents who should know better – watch something to make you laugh and get the giggles out of your system, that or be reminded of what it has taken for countless generations to experience and love Christmas today.

Nativity (2010)

Debbie Isit, 95 mins

With Martin Freeman on all our screens for his role as The Hobbit, you would perhaps do well to be reminded of his brilliance in a role perhaps more suited to his core qualities – underplayed, British

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worriers in a semi improvised comedy about the Nativity – which feels to me a very British tradition (or at least the way I think about it). It also features Marc Wooton – one of my favourite comic actors who turns up in all sorts of things, and was the genius behind Shirely Ghostman – and is a very open, friendly comedy for your Friday night. By the way, there”s a sequel coming, if not already out now. It”s got David Tennant instead. It can”t be bad, can it?


A Christmas Tale (2008)

Arnold Desplechin, 150 mins

Set in the trench warfare of World War One, Un Conte De Noel, is a co-production of Germany, France and the United Kingdom, and features a stunningly well performed piece of Drama that is just heart breaking. It opens with children, each of their own national language, performing a poem about war. Distinguished by language, but united through their humanity, and just gets more and more poignant as the film unfolds. God it”s a heartbreaking tale – It may be long and hard going, but well worth the effort.

This will become a future Christmas Classic once it finds it”s audience, and when it does, remember to thank me for pointing it out, a mere 4 years after it was released. Don”t say I”m not on the ball.